Anal Sex Amateur

Dear Female Orgasm,

My boyfriend wants to try anal sex but I'm a little nervous. We've had normal sex lots of times and I don't consider myself a prude but I'm still a little scared. What do I need to know about anal sex?

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Dear Anal Sex Amateur,

The first thing you need to know is that you don't have to engage in anal sex with anyone if you don't want to. The decision is yours.

Before you make that decision, ask yourself why you're nervous about anal sex. Just because it's different, or because you have hang-ups or negative associations with anal sex? If it's the latter, then you can overcome your reservations with a little anal exploration and then decide whether or not anal sex is for you.

First off, the anus isn't designed for sex. There are a lot of nerve endings around the opening of your anus, though. Keep in mind that any penetration must be gentle and well-lubricated (the anus doesn't make its own lubrication during sex like the vagina does).

Give anal sex a trial run the next time you masturbate. With your fingers and a lot of lube, play with your anus. Gently insert a finger into your anus. How does it feel? Some women enjoy the feeling of fullness that anal penetration provides. Others find it simply uncomfortable.

If you and your boyfriend decide to go ahead with anal sex, remember to use protection. Anal sex won't get you pregnant but can still pass on sexually-transmitted diseases. Use lots of lube and remind him to go slowly. If he thrusts into you suddenly, it may hurt and can injure the tissues inside your anus.

That's our advice: start solo, start slow, use protection and lots of lube. And if you decide anal sex isn't for you, then don't do it. But don't dismiss it out of hand.

Further reading: How to have anal sex.