Role Playing: Adding Spice to Sex

Female Orgasm We've all heard the old saw "Variety is the spice of life." That's absolutely true. But when you're in a monogamous relationship, you may not feel like you're getting enough spice.

Role playing in the bedroom is a great way to add some adventure to your time together. This article discusses role playing tips. For some ideas to jumpstart your imagination, read Role Playing Scenarios.

Why Do People Think Role Playing Is Naughty?

A lot of people feel that pretending to be someone else while having sex is just too close to cheating. He's pretending that he's fooling around with the Captured Elf Maiden instead of his wife! Feelings of inadequacy and betrayal may accompany these thoughts.

But role playing is no more cheating than is fantasizing about other people. Face it – everyone fantasizes about having sex with people other than their partner. Wouldn't you rather take advantage of those fantasies, participate in them, rather than ignore them?

Additionally, when role playing, we think it's best for both partners' feelings if the names of real people are not used. Movie stars and singers are okay, but we don't advise pretending to be a mutual friend in the bedroom.

Role Playing: Getting Started

There are two basic ways to get started with role playing. The first is to speak to your partner about role playing. This is especially if you or your partner are timid or shy about sex and sex play. If your partner had awful experiences in Catholic school, you don't want to meet him at the door in your Sister Superior garb – he might run screaming.

So talking to your partner up front is often a good idea. You can discuss the things that both of you think are okay, and the things that are off limits.

On the other hand, there's a lot to be said about the surprise approach to role playing. Instead of providing a warning, you appear in costume and in character as The Naughty Schoolgirl or The Salacious Police Officer.

Your partner may be disoriented at first – but should catch on pretty quickly. If not you can always take a brief break and explain.

Role Playing Tips

This doesn't have to be a Zorro mask and cape. For men, dressing up in a suit and tie, cologne and nice shoes can be a welcome change (you could be a Bored Banker, an International Spy or a Globetrotting Wealthy Playboy).

Women usually have more clothing and more costume choices – makeup and gaudy jewelry, or a sports bra and spandex shorts, or just a sheet (the Lonely Roman Widow in her toga) are great costume choices.

A few simple props also make a great addition to your role playing. If you have a specific role in mind, say the Hard Boiled Detective or the High-Class Call Girl, you can get a few inexpensive props for your character. Alternately, just look around the house for a couple of items that fit into your role.

Sex toys can also make great props.

Face it – it's inevitable. Whenever people do new things that make them uncomfortable, there are going to be some giggles and nervous chuckles. Don't get your feelings hurt.

If your partner is upset by your laughter, explain that you're not laughing at, you're laughing because you're nervous. Say that you're new to this, and that you're glad he/she is willing to try something new with you, how sexy that is, and you're on the way to a great recovery.

If the Rampaging Viking bit goes too far, or the Creepy Old Man is too creepy, you and your partner have to be able to talk about it outside of character. Make sure you and your partner establish a "stop word" – when the stop word gets used, everything stops.

This can add a feeling of security that will aid the more timid in getting into their role playing.

That's all you need to know to enjoy role playing with your partner. Now read up on some sample role playing scenarios and get ready to have a blast.