Faking an Orgasm

Female Orgasm According to some studies, as many as 61% of women fake orgasms at least some of the time. Most of the time, women do this to protect their partner's feelings. But there are other motivations as well.

Why do women fake orgasms? What's at stake? What do men think about faking an orgasm – do they do it too?

Faking an orgasm: why women do it

There's no prize for faking an orgasm, no recognition and no Emmy nominations. The reasons women fake orgasms are primarily selfless.

The single most common cause of faking an orgasm is to make a woman's partner feel better. Face it, guys – you all want to feel like sex gods. When a woman fakes an orgasm she's making you feel that way.

Other top reasons include faking an orgasm to intensify the partner's orgasm and faking so the partner doesn't feel inadequate (perhaps due to premature ejaculation or poor technique). Occasionally, both men and women fake orgasms just to end a sexual encounter because they don't feel like there's an orgasm in the near future – but this is more rare.

So if you find out your partner's faking, odds are she's doing it for you. She's trying to maintain your sense of sexual wellbeing.

What's the downside to faking an orgasm?

The main reason men wonder is because it makes them feel worse if they know their partner is faking an orgasm. The majority of men (and 43% of women) say that discovering that their partner is faking would be a distinct negative rather than a positive. Not only does faking make faker's partner feel bad about himself, it also makes him feel more negatively toward the faker.

Talking about a missed orgasm is much more likely to create passion, intimacy and understanding.

How to tell if she's faking an orgasm

If you can't be satisfied with taking her word for it, there are a few physiological indicators that just can't be faked.

  • A rash-like flush appears on her chest
  • Her nipples will protrude
  • The labia will change color to burgundy or bright pink (but how will you check?)
  • Her vagina will contract around you

The best way to tell if your partner is faking an orgasm is to have an open, honest and frank line of communication. If she is faking an orgasm, you should know why. There might be some new techniques you can learn – or maybe she's afraid that you are insecure about sex.

In any event, between partners who understand one another, faking an orgasm is never necessary. The goal of sex is to have fun and enjoy yourselves, rather than keep a scorecard of who reached orgasm when and how many times. Losing sight of this can lead to unhappiness.

Guys - learn how to give her a real orgasm! Read about cunnilingus, sexual positions and clitoral stimulation -- and have better sex tonight.